Ahhh sweet, juicy olallieberries. Or is it olallaberries? I think it’s olallieberries, but I still pronounce it “olala.” It just feels more fun that way really! When I first saw these beauties, I thought they may be a cross between a raspberry and a blackberry. They’re actually a cross between a loganberry and a young … Continue reading olallieberry, olalaberry …delicious either way
I have several draft posts set aside for myself, one of which I added just last night. Several are from this time last year, when I started my blog. They have to do with my family and my childhood, and were largely my efforts to piece together what I know from the snippets, memoirs, white … Continue reading Ignore This Post.
Hubby (yes the personal trainer) has been working such unbelievably long days (most days from 7am to 9pm), that unless he sneaks in a run during a canceled appointment, or gets to do a workout with one of his years-long clients, he rarely gets into a good workout routine. Me, his ironically fitness opposite, do have time to work out, but don’t. Oops. Sorry.
In my first year of college, I was dating someone that wanted to try out vegetarianism. So I decided to try it out with him. We broke up about a year later, but I continued meatlessness for seven years. (He stopped shortly after we broke up, as he just wasn’t getting enough calories and felt he was losing too much weight). I was at my heaviest when I started, and the diet actually helped me stay out of fast food places, and because I didn’t want to be the vegetarian living off cheese sticks, I started eating pretty healthy. Now when I think about it, this must have been how I lost most of my about 60 pounds in early college. Because I sure as hell wasn’t working out that often : )
Back to hubby.
Even though we didn’t have a particularly glutinous thanksgiving this year, I do enjoy using the holiday as an excuse to make everything from scratch (as it should be!) and well…..with butter (also as it should be!). And since the last few months I’ve had night shifts at a restaurant and haven’t been able to make the healthy dinners that I strive to make every night, I think we’re both feeling a little…..well….fat.
In talking to an old acquaintance of ours at a recent backyard bbq, hubs must have been taking notes. Because yesterday, while he was in the shower and I was in the bathroom milling around (sometimes we do that – keep each other company while the other showers. We don’t see each other very often these days!), he began buttering me up for a new idea, starting with, “I’m not ready to start right this minute…” and “perhaps we can do it just for the month…” and I teasingly retorted, “this will be good…” and “maybe I should just say ‘no’ right now,” until he finally landed with a big “maybe we should do this one diet that is like from way back where you eat no carbs or beans or anything.”
“The CAVE MAN diet? Have you been talking to Michael?!”
A sheepish “yes” was all I got from behind the shower curtain.
“But what will I do without carbs? Do you want to live with the nightmare that will result?”
Yet another sheepish response from behind the shower curtain…”no.”
We giggled and then I teased him about being “Mr. Anti-Diet” and “Mr. look who finally feels fat and bloated enough to stop rolling his eyes at me and suggest a (*gasp*) DIET!” Okay I may have also added, “He who tells his clients, ‘It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change,’ is, in effect, ready to go on a diet.”
We giggled again and then I left the bathroom. I couldn’t let things get serious enough for him to back me into a diet corner. NO. WAY.
But it did get me thinking. My change in schedule has really changed the way we eat. I can’t bear him picking up fast food three nights out of the week anymore either. And I’ll just go ahead and share one of my old-fashioned thoughts on marriage that is….are you ready for it? Here it comes: I consider it my wifely duty to ensure that my husband (and future family) eat nutritious meals. Now I’ll come back to the 21st century and admit that if it’s the husband that works less hours and enjoys cooking, then it can be his husbandy duties. But lets face it people. Women are not only traditionally, (but thanks to all the awesome food network stars that have made culinary adventures fun), we have remained the rulers of the kitchen.
Ain’t no shame, ladies. We ROCK that room! Go head with your whiskin’ and blendin’ gurrrl!
So today, in procrastination of other things I should be doing (hey I cleaned the house before I opened up the laptop!), I started perusing the web for ideas.
Hubby decided to give me an early birthday present this past Saturday, and take me to a musical. It was so cute of him to take one for the team. Although, I think he enjoyed it a great deal himself! We enjoyed “Fly with Me,” a dialogue-less musical based on the many wonderful songs of … Continue reading for the love of cheese…and meat….and wine…..okay and fruit!
The “1” button on everyone’s keyboard is surely getting a good workout today. May I suggest being kind enough to split your usage between the “1” above your letters, and the “1” on your number pad. I mean seriously people, give ’em a break!
But that’s not what I meant to talk about. I wanted to talk about lucky numbers, and then move into Veteran’s Day. Ready? Here we go!
Okay first off, my husband’s lucky number is 11. He always had it as a jersey number in school. Also, my birthday is in the month of 11. For that fact alone, I think we were meant to be together. Just sayin’.
Now then, let’s use the hubby mention as a segway into the more important topic here.
Every year since I’ve known my (now) hubby, I’ve had to have “the talk” with him. This year, with eight months of marriage under our belts (preceded by eight years of dating), I decided to do it again.
But this time, I had a much more serious tone.
Standard procedure for this seemingly annual occurrence is for me to steam silently about the subject at hand for a couple of weeks. Usually it’s because my anxiety and stress at work is reaching yet another peak, and I’m wondering why I’m still coming home every night after all that effing nonsense, to cook dinner and make sure I’ve got a smile on my face for when hubs comes home. He in turn, is as sweet as pie. As a matter of fact, I MUST preface this whole thing by saying that I truly know and value the gem I have found in my husband. He is the most sweetest man I have ever met. Even my girlfriends (attached and not) are a little jealous. My sister is even jealous. He’s easy-going, always caring and one of those people that everyone just loves. He provides endless love, support and cuddles. And waits a really long time to bring up my (ahem) issues with lack of libido. And he’s a man for goodness sakes, so you know it’s gotta be tough. You gotta love that. And while I’ve been with him since I was 19 and went from financially supporting my mom to basically taking the brunt of financial pressure for the two of us, when I weigh the options, I don’t regret it. If I left him for some rich hottie, that jerkwad would more than likely treat me like shit, or cheat on me, or we would fight like cats and dogs. Like I said, I recognize what I have and value it a great deal.
That said….I encouraged him to start his business before he hit 30 years old. (He turns 35 in about a month.) His business is service-based and he sells packages of sessions. In the meantime though, I’ve carried the brunt of the bills, groceries and leisure/entertainment/travel expenses. It was fine for a while because I had decent jobs and steady income. He does contribute and we actually split our regular bills (rent and utilities) pretty much right down the middle. But I felt that I wasn’t ever able to save as much as I wanted or really focus on my own dreams, because I was busy trying to bring in enough money so he could follow his. This, in a nutshell, is what the “talk” is about every year.
“I need you to pick up the slack sometimes, ya know?” or “Sometimes you get yourself toys and spend money on nonsense and I don’t feel that the bigger picture is considered or that you consider that we’re trying to build something together,” are among the common statements I have made over the years.
But this year, I was really working a horrendous job (see two posts ago). I realized that if I don’t follow my dreams now, I will get to the point where it will simply not be feasible. I didn’t want to give myself something I’ll regret forever. Whatsmore, I didn’t want to give myself something for which I’d resent my husband for the rest of my life.
So, this year’s statements were more strongly worded, and basically went like this:
How is it that I can feel such despair and get sucked into the vortex of loneliness and diminished self worth, and then feel just fine the next day? Lately, I’ve gone back and forth, like a game of double dutch – one foot down on one side, now one foot down on the other…..continue … Continue reading Happiness and that OTHER feeling