Poetry by Moi: Jury Duty Edition

In my prolonged absence, many things have brought me thisclose to hitting that “new post” link and typing away.

But I haven’t.

Until today.

Because today,

I have….

JURY DUTY (dun dun DUUUNNNN!).

You know what is so blog-postingly-inspiring about jury duty?

The people!

Yes these people who have felt so committed to perform their civic duty that instead of “accidentally” throwing out their notice (or just outright throwing it away – fines be dammed!), they schlepped their arses here by 745 to …..well, sit and wait.

But there are many other things that make this experience (my first, mind you), blog-postingly-inspiring. So inspiring in fact, that a second layer of inspiration has been added to it, in the form of a poem. Yes, that’s right folks. I shall add a Jury Duty poem to my already esteemed collection of poems, which to date include subjects such as how much I love my sammiches, and an ode to the 100-calorie snack pack. So please allow me….

(clears throat)

Upon entering this fine public institution,
My nose was assaulted* with internal air pollution.
A concoction with which I am unfortunately acquianted,
from first grade classrooms forever tainted.

Story time carpet squares,
ingrained with smells,
that in my adult life,
put me back in pigtails.

Odors most present in this floor textile,
give hints of heavy dust,
and flautlence compiled.

Alas there is more,
to this unforgettable experience!
Like coughers and sniffers,
and antsy participants.

To my left, a young man,
not yet out of his teens,
earplugs secured,
rapping loud and obscene things.

To my right, an old woman,
Coughing up pleghm,
You can tell it’s productive,
As she swallows it again.

In front a young lady,
smacking her gum,
while shamelessly relaying,
last night’s adventures with “Tom.”

And finally behind me,
a heavy breather of sorts.
Unable to sit still,
expelling loud huffs between snorts.

And I with my kindle,
My tablet and keyboard,
my cellphone and chargers
Fresh apps unexplored,

thought I was prepared,
for this game called waiting.
But that smell!
(Which deserves its own octane rating),

would render one useless
if chosen for trial,
Methinks the room would do well,
Being aired out once in a while.

As for people of course,
they are who they are.
They cough and talk loudly,
openely acting bizarre.

Oh dear facility manager
Of county courthouse superior,
Please address the air quality,
Which is quite inferior.

So us lovers of people
can continue to judge
those sitting amongst us,
before joining the kludge.

*Penal system pun intended.

Sidenote: “Penal” is a horrible word.

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