Fat Girl in a Zaftig Girl’s Body

Because I am what the title of this post says I am, I simply cannot stay away from doing another poem in honor of my lunch, despite how much I’ve tried over the last few days to come up with a post with more substance.

You may have noticed that my posts have been lacking the last few days (read: there haven’t been any). It seems that my best writing happens between the hours of 1am to 3am, when I’ve finished a shift at the restaurant, the hubby is asleep, and I am fighting yet another bout of insomnia by (more than likely) shoving large quantities of unhealthy food in my mouth. Fortunately for me (but unfortunately for my blog) I seem to have gained enough willpower to not stay up so late after work these days, and instead only log in about a half hour of TV time. This may have something to do with the fact that I’m reading Jane Austen’s Emma and I’m eager to get to bed so I can Kindle my way into lala land.

My other hours of inspiration, to the detriment of my boss, seems to be when I’m bored as sugar at my day job. I guess that’s why I think about my lunch from the moment I get in in the morning. 

So please enjoy this total waste of time on the clock and yet another shameless plug for my favorite grocer, Mr. Trader Joe. Wait, I always forget that I’m actually allowed to zone out on my lunch break, even if I am sitting in front of the computer. So it is not a waste of time on the clock. But it remains to be a shameless plug for my favorite grocer.

Just for kicks, I even tried to write this in true Ode form, using the ababcdecde form with 3-10 line stanzas. I figured iambic pentameter would have to be saved for another day‘s lunch though. But after I did the ababcde thing, it sounded funny. So I did it the way I want it; non-proper Ode form be damned!

Ode to the Trader Joe’s Salad

Dear Harvest Salad with Grilled Chicken
You patiently await your turn
For when 12 the clock has stricken
I grab for what I yearn
Unwrapping your plastic protection
That ensures me you are yet without germs
I shall now eat without any objection
Growling stomach whole heartedly confirms

You are possibly the best I have had
Surpassing even Mr. Joe’s Greek salad
Your dressing allotment is too large a tad
But low calorie lunch makes eating all of it valid
Mr. Joe ensures no slime on your components
And takes great care to mix flavors just right
So no one ingredient is another’s opponent
I make sure to get a part of each in every bite

This task can be a bit tough
Because you are so colorfully diverse
But you I promise I shall not rebuff
Your ingredients I will intersperse
Tomatoes, green beans, corn and white cheddar
Half a hard-boiled egg and dijon dressing
I’ll fit in my jeans soon and feel better
So in front of skinny bitches I can stop distressing

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