thoughts on stupid math and its mathy mathness, among other things

I used to love math. But I always got lucky and had really great teachers. I think for the non-genius, math can only be learned with a good teacher. It’s so very important. In college, stats is mandatory for practically any major. In my college, they overbooked the classes each year, and if you don’t sign up soon enough, they’ll be full and you’ll have to crash. I didn’t learn this lesson until it was too late for me to sign up and I had to crash. Because it’s required, the school recruited a bunch of math grad students and opened up a handful of classes.

I got stuck in one of these classes and the surfer math grad dud had no idea what he was doing. He would write entire formulas on the board and as we were done writing it down, he’d realize he made a mistake and erase it all. I felt bad. It wasn’t his fault he was unprepared. But I promptly dropped the class and replaced it with another; promising myself that I would take stats in the summer.

I did, and my entire class was full of people from the grad student’s class. They had all failed. So glad I did what I did because the lady that ended up teaching in the summer explained everything like it was basic arithmetic. I aced that class and glided right on through stats. It was awesome.

But I digress.

Part of the reason I haven’t taken the gmat is because I can’t teach myself the math. It’s perfectly simple math, with basic algebra and such. But I just can’t reteach the stuff to myself and even the extra math workbook doesn’t explain things COMPLETELY. Like, thanks for showing me how to do it like that, but WHY did you choose that option over others, and what would make me choose that option, too?

So I put out a notice in the magical land of the internet and….dammit I got responses. Now I’m beholden to meeting people once a week, starting this Thursday, and I’m downright nervous about it. Why?! It’s so silly to be nervous! Is it that people will depend on me to organize these every Thursday for the next 3 months? Is it because I will not have any more excuses and will finally have to to take the test? Is it because I’ve been telling myself I am never able to do the things I want and if I come closer to doing something I want, it just freaks me out?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m excited. But worried too! Is this what big people do? Make committments and get together to work towards common goals? Holy crap!

The other day, when I got a wild hair up my butt to make orange blueberry muffins in mid-week, I had to leave the house in mid batter mix because I realized I had every ingredient besides eggs – which the hubs had polished off that morning. And I was almost shocked to see how many people were out. I actually came home and told the hubs about my enlightening experience. Each week night, we come home after work and practically lock ourselves inside, eat dinner, watch a movie, go to bed and start over. No wonder we feel we get nothing done, and the week is so draining. We don’t have fun! Eight o’clock on a weekday when most people are just and people are just getting started! They meet their friends for a late dinner. They don’t hang out long, they just eat, giggle and get home by 1030.Why didn’t we think of that sooner?!

This IS the year that we will get out more. (We started that in December actually – our weekly “date nights” that really don’t consist of anything more than taking our laptops to the local coffee shop and getting work done. Even though we’re getting work done instead of really having a proper date, it gets us out of the house for some work and people watching (which we both love to do!). And now, thursday gmat study groups. Holy crap, I’m a big girl now!

What if I ACTUALLY achieve something for myself this year?! GASP! If I can be consistent…I think I’ll be well on may way….

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