Woopsies….it’s been longer than I’ve wanted in between posts. Not my fault, right? I mean, it’s the holidays! We did a lot of cooking and baking, spent a good deal of time at my sister’s house (she’s got the baby and the big house so everyone gets together there). And now, it’s the first day back from work before a few days off for New Years! (I’m ONLY blogging right now because I’m actually half-working from home today. Yesterday’s tickle in my throat turned into this morning’s threat of a sinus infection!)
But I guess what it comes down to is this….I spent most of my adult life blaming all kinds of situations and people, in an effort to explain away the reason why I have not gone after the things I mean to go after.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s fear (rejection – gasp!), or maybe it’s laziness (just a few more minutes in bed…just a few more minutessssss…..DANG! The alarm is going off again!). Whatever it is….it’s PISSING ME OFF! Haha.
Years ago, I had awesome insurance. So I started seeing a therapist to help me with several issues including (but not limited to, hah!):
1) My love/hate relationship with my mom
2) My issues with sex despite having the most amazing husband EVER!
3) My constant feeling of laziness
Unfortunately, I only had a couple of months with her before I decided to leave my job permanently. Luckily, we got pretty far, although she felt we had to deal with issue three and a little bit of one, before we could find out what was going on with two. (Sorry hubs!)
As for number three, she first helped me understand that I was NOT lazy. I was overwhelmed. And sometimes too many things on your plate can simply paralyze you. I wish’d to have been able to work with her longer, so I could find better tools to address these issues. Didn’t happen of course. But I’m looking forward to my next raise so I can start back up again.
That is…if I’m not “paralyzed” in overwhelming activity….